I had to explain to a colleague why database autogrow and autoshrink were a bad idea, so I did, he laughed, but got it, and so I went back to my desk and hammered this out – no editing, just hammering…
DATABASES AND FRAT HOUSES
Okay folks, so here’s a basic example of why you want to have your database the right size to start with, and why setting things to “autogrow” and “autoshrink” is a bad idea.
Let’s say you go to – oh, say, the Local University, and you live in a frat house with 39 of your closest friends and associates.
Let’s also say that this frat house has parties on a rather regular basis, like, every Friday and Saturday night, and about 100 people show up.
Now if the house is big enough, you set up tables, snacks, “beverages”, and music, and people have a good time, in addition to getting plastered, puking on the lawn and so on – (but that’s outside the house, so we’ll deal with puking on the lawn in another issue.)
So far so good, right? People have places to congregate, dance, chat, do all that other stuff that happens at frat parties, and so on. No problem… The house is big enough, might be a little crowded sometimes, might be full of hot, sweaty bodies during the party, but basically, it’s a party, everyone’s having a good time, and no one will remember much of it on Saturday morning.
Except for those guys lying on the front lawn, but again, that’s another story.