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Paul and the Butterfly Effect


So now that most of you reading this have come back home from either PASS Summit or MVP Summit and are trying to get your heads around being back home and/or in the office again, so grab a cup of coffee and allow me to share a story with you…

(for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about – imagine a bunch of introverted computer geeks getting together, eating together, drinking various liquids together, learning together, and quite often having an amazingly good time while they’re at it)

This story started out as a response to a note Paul Randal (blog | twitter) wrote just after summit almost a year ago, and for any of you who’ve read my stories, you’ll be familiar with the phrase, “And it got me thinking” – usually about halfway down the story.  But this time it starts at the beginning, see, Paul wrote about this thing called “the butterfly effect” and he was talking about how making one small change in something could make major changes later on…

The links above are Paul’s, the links below will likely reference my own stories, which you’ll understand as you read along.

Paul asked for feedback on what he wrote about the butterflies, and I started writing, and thinking, and thinking, and writing.

And it went something like this:

Gosh, Paul,

It’s hard to figure out where the first butterfly flapped its wings in this story…

And please forgive me – it turned out longer than I expected, but you’ll understand when you get to the end.

I was working at Microsoft (1996-2000), and over time had sent out stories about my then 7 year old son (like this one) – and one day, I got a surprisingly snarky reply-all response back from a fellow I’d considered to be a friend.  We’d worked together (he in England, me in Redmond) – and while I wanted to fire back with all the self-righteousness in the world, how he, a young, single man, didn’t understand the joy that comes from having the privilege of having children, I backed off.

I checked with a trusted friend for advice, and then suggested to him, kindly, that in time, he would indeed understand the joy one can have experiencing a story like the one above, but he was not yet old enough to understand that.  I wished him well, and told him that I hoped that someday he would be able to experience that privilege.  I made sure not to burn any bridges, because his comment was based on youth and inexperience, and I truly valued his friendship.

Fast forward 10 years.

We’d both grown, we’d both lived, but most importantly, we’d stayed friends.

He’d moved to the US, worked for several companies, including the one I work for now, and is now back at Microsoft, based out of Chicago.

Some time back, he heard I was looking for work, and within a day, had written a letter of recommendation based on years of trust, years of both personal and professional friendship, and in part due to that – I had an opportunity to interview and was subsequently hired.

I had/got/made/took opportunities to speak (I did sessions down at SSWUG.org for a few years) and then got involved in the SQL community, starting, as I recall, with Chris Shaw (blog | twitter ).  He was one of the speakers at one of the SSWUG sessions at the time (I didn’t know about PASS then), and I was just being me, flipping him crap, and he flipped it back.  We laughed, then he asked if I wanted to speak.  I couldn’t imagine him asking that, but he did, and the conversation went like this:

“Have you ever done any public speaking?”

“Only Eulogies.”

<crickets>

“No really.  One was for my dad, and one was for a friend in my cancer survivor’s support group.”

I couldn’t imagine anything more stressful than doing a eulogy for your own dad, or for a friend who had died of the same disease you were fighting, too, so I figured I’d give it a shot.  How hard could it be, right?

Little did I know – but I worked hard, made some presentations, and I did it for three years. I met wonderful people there (Chris Shaw & Wendy Pastrick  ( blog | twitter ) were with me in the studio one of those times) and met others through the sessions.

Wendy Pastrick, me, and Chris Shaw

Wendy Pastrick, me, and Chris Shaw

…and Paul, I had a ball doing it.

This year I spoke at the SQLSaturday in Portland just before Summit – on communication, and how important it is, and how hard it is to do well. (I have a Bachelor’s degree in Communication and a Master’s in Visual Communication (photojournalism) and am still learning)

And it got me thinking, as so many stories do…

Had I gotten mad at John (the friend in Chicago) and burned that bridge way back in 1997 when I sent that original emailed story out (I think it says 1998 in the one on the blog) – then I wouldn’t have had him as a resource to get the job I have today.

Had I not gotten that job, I wouldn’t have had the speaking opportunity in Tucson.

…nor would I have gone to Summit.

Or had the opportunities to speak.

Or made the friends I’ve made.

I wouldn’t have realized there were other people just as lonely as I was out there who worked in their own little cubicle, being one of very few people in their companies doing what they do.

I wouldn’t have learned about #sqlhelp, and #sqlfamily, and summer camp for geeks (Summit)

I wouldn’t have learned that just by tweeting something with DBCC in it, in short order you could get an answer from the guy who wrote it.

As a result, my mind has been in a state of continuous bogglement (if that’s a word) for the last 7 years.

(you realize this list could go on for a good long while.)

But I did learn – and I know a little about these things now.

I know there are folks out there who will help, who will encourage, and who will cheer me on should I need it.

Just today, I found myself on the cheering/encouraging end of that equation (one member of the SQL community came home from Summit to one less family member in the house)

I don’t know if in doing that, I was a butterfly helping someone in their own life journey. I don’t know..

And I don’t think any of those things (that family member excluded) would have happened had I gotten mad at John those many years ago.

Yes, I do think about that.

Oh, speaking of John… He and his wife now have two boys – and he understands.

Take care Paul – thanks for making me think – that was fun.

Tom

PS: not to overload you, but to take the butterfly back even further – almost 100 years ago, there was this little piece of Russian Shrapnel

if it hadn’t hit where it did, you wouldn’t be reading any of this.

And I sent it…

And just now – it got me thinking some more…

Some of the butterflies in life are good ones.  Some are bad ones.

All of them got you to where you are today.

So I’ll end this one, uncharacteristically, with a question:  As you think back, What are your butterflies? What got you to where you are today?

Take care out there, folks,

Tom

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Posted by on November 6, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Life Lessons from SQLSaturdayABQ – Including one from Bugs Bunny


SQLSaturdayABQ

So it’s been a couple of weeks – but SQL Saturday ABQ has finally simmered long enough for me to write about it. I learned so much about so many things down there, and am tremendously grateful for the opportunity to share not only a meal and some learning with professional colleagues, but also reconnect with old friends and make new ones.

The trip down was great – I found out that putting my phone into Airplane Mode seemed to put some pretty cool Airplanes into pictures of an already gorgeous landscape.

I learned the Albuquerque is at 5,000 feet, and for someone used to living at sea level, I learned to appreciate the simple things in life, like, say, air.

(On our second day there the wonderful friend we were staying with took us up to the Sandia Peak Tramway. She and my wife enjoyed the gift shop at the lower elevations while I, still getting used to the 5,000 foot elevation,  went up another 5000 feet on the tram.

No, no oxygen masks fell out of the sky, but I could definitely feel all 10,378 feet of altitude there.

After I got back down, we explored some more, stopped at some lower elevations, and got a little perspective on the mountains for a little further north,

We stopped in a little town called Bernalillo and saw the Coronado Historic Site (above), and could hear the Rio Grande River gurgling down below. It was so different from what we have here in Washington – one could easily say it’s ugly and brown, but that would be missing the point – it’s got a beauty all its own, and needs to be looked at with different eyes.

As for the sessions with SQL Saturday itself…

I learned things about PowerShell in the session from Mike Fal ( b | t ) that made me want to get my hands dirty and try to find problems we’re struggling with in our environments that could be solved with a little PowerShell, and he proved that yes, you can indeed type in a demo, and then promptly demo’d why not to do it. J I loved the examples he gave, and the fact that he stuck with “learn the concepts, don’t freak about the code” – in large part because, just like in Field of Dreams (if you build it, they will come), with PowerShell, if you learn the concepts, the code will follow. You just have to understand what you want to do first – and that happens with the concepts. I’ve learned that if you give someone a problem first, and then give them a pile of tools, they’ll figure stuff out, and you’ll see creative juices flowing as they start thinking about new ways to solve old problems. It’s kind of fun to watch, and more fun to be part of.

I didn’t take any pictures of Jason Horner’s (b|t) session, but I enjoyed his presentation very much, which was full of demos and examples of databases much bigger than the ones I handle. As I recall, there were 4 (FOUR) MCM’s in the room… We were walking on hallowed ground there – and just that level of conversation, questions, and knowledge was fun to be around. I look forward to seeing more of his presentations, and applying what I learned there.

John Morehouse’s ( b | t ) session on social media had an interesting cross section of people in it – some quite experienced who are used to it, but always looking for new things to learn, and some who were absolutely new to the game and had never, ever used it.

John talked about how it can benefit you professionally, how easy it is to blur the lines between personal and professional, and how to do your best to keep them separate if needed. He made a very valid point that no matter where you are, you’re an ambassador for your company – so “think first, then post” along with the idea that once you hit send, it’s out there. Know your company’s policies on social media. That’s a huge thing. Even if you think it’s a private message, the wrong screenshots in the wrong places can be embarrassing for a long time. We also had a live demo of twitter, and how to do everything from getting a question answered with #sqlhelp, to getting a job via social media.

And I learned a lot – I got better doing my presentation on “Life Lessons in Communication” for the second time – and finally getting the butterflies in my stomach to at least fly in formation. I learned a lot from my audience, and had something totally off script pop into my head during the presentation – with the simple sentence of, “Are you solving the problem? Or managing it?” I realized I learned as much from my own presentation and audience as they did from me. Oh – and lessons are everywhere. You don’t even have to look hard. You just have to pay attention.

It was a lot of fun.

Many, many thanks to Meredith ( b | t ) and crew for getting everything together, and for the absolutely wonderful speaker’s dinner the night before. (what was that smokey salsa-y stuff on the chips? that was amazing!)

What came next was a time that can only be described as a slice of heaven.

Any of you in the IT industry know that the whole work/life balance thing is something that has to be managed very, very deliberately.  The cost of not managing it can be ridiculously high.

And so, for the next few days, I was able to spend that precious thing called time chatting with my wife and our friend, getting incredible amounts of fuzz therapy from two wonderful dogs, and just spending time away from the computer.  I allowed myself the time to absorb some of the lessons I’d learned at SQLSaturdayABQ, and then, as I watched some of the hot air balloons drift by, I realized that not all of the lessons I learned there had to do with SQL… a lot simply had to do with life. Some of them are still simmering, but all of them will end up in a story sooner or later.

Again – thanks to…

…all who attended the presentation (Jason had said I couldn’t start until he was there – I had the pre-presentation butterflies and was quietly hoping for him to be late – but he was there in the front row when I got there – so there was no backing out at all :-) –

…to Avanade for giving me the time off to go do this, and

…to our wonderful friend for sharing her lovely home and hospitality with us, and last but most certainly not least

…to my family for their patience and faith in me as I worked through it.

There are many more lessons out there to be learned, and as I find them, I’ll do my best to share them.

Oh, here’s just one:

You know how Bugs Bunny always says, “I knew I should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque!“?

I now know why he couldn’t do that.  🙂

Take care out there, folks…

Tom

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Coffee Grinders, Wisdom, and PASS


I’ve been at the SQL Pass Summit in Seattle this week, and I can honestly feel my head expanding from all the incredible information and knowledge being shoved in there by so many people who have worked so hard to put their presentations together, to share their experiences, their knowledge, and their mistakes.

And the other morning, as I was idly waiting for the hot water dripping through the coffee maker to become something useful, it got me thinking, about how often that has happened in my life, someone sharing hard earned wisdom that saved me from having to learn from my own mistakes.

I kept watching the coffee maker for a bit, then started to see the pieces come together.

See, not only is the PASS Summit in Seattle, I live in Seattle.  Coffee is more than just a ritual here, it is one of the basic food groups.  It is as necessary as, say, air, and that morning, I was about to clean out the coffee grinder when I heard my Oma (German for Grandma) stop me.

The thing is, she’s been gone from this earth, to live on in our memories, for over 30 years.  Why would she be stopping me? –

And then I remembered.

When I was little, she had a very similar coffee grinder (a Braun 220 volt one that you could wrap the cord around), and she ground the coffee the same way I do.  Fill the grinder about halfway with coffee beans, put the lid on, mash down on the button, wait until the rattle turns into a hiss, and you’re done.  Then – if it was her, she’d unplug the coffee grinder, then spoon out a measured amount of coffee into the coffee pot, if it’s me I just dump it into the filter I’ve put into the coffee maker.

But it’s what she said, in that southern German Swabian dialect I grew up hearing, as she unplugged it that stopped me.  “Also domme Leut’ däen d’r draht in d’r Steckdose bleiba lassa.” (roughly translated: „Dumb people leave it plugged in.”) – and I just took it to be a bit of gray haired wisdom that I didn’t quite understand until years later.

See, that wisdom was pretty simple: Don’t do stupid things.

In fact, it seems that her advice could have been used about 40 years later… See, it seems that a small coffee company here in Seattle had a coffee grinder made that really wasn’t too different from the one Oma had way back when.  It turns out that several people (some of them smart in some ways) managed to actually injure themselves by getting (or putting) their fingers into this little machine.  One that’s designed to take small things and make them into much smaller things.  Apparently the coffee grinders turned on while they were trying to clean them, and that advice about unplugging… a machine… that’s (let me repeat this) designed to take small objects and make them smaller… to keep it from turning on could have been quite useful. But my Oma wasn’t around to give that kind of advice, and as a result, the advice wasn’t heeded, and the company recalled over half a million of the things.

And that wouldn’t have happened if they’d been unplugged.

After I’d thought about Oma, (having unplugged the coffee grinder and put it away) I had another thought, this time about something that happened with Opa (German for Grampa) a few weeks later, having nothing at all to do with coffee.

See, growing up in Germany when I did, the towns and cities still had more than just a touch of a medieval feel to them, what with the cobblestone streets, and some towns still snug inside the walls that were designed to keep the inhabitants in, and any attackers out.  It had been this way for centuries. People were inside the walls, all the agriculture was on the outside, and one day, I went with Opa to one of the gardens that had been in the family for generations, where there were plum trees and potatoes, cabbage and cauliflower, beans and broccoli.

But to get to the garden, we had to walk through a long, narrow orchard, and the only thing Opa had to cut the grass that grew there among the trees with was a scythe, so it didn’t get cut often, and was about waist high on me.  I didn’t really care, and was having fun running through it when I noticed Opa was gone.  He was short but not that short, so I hunted a bit and found he’d crossed over the fence into the neighbor’s orchard, which, as I recall, had horses on it occasionally, and the grass there was much shorter as a result.  It really surprised me, as it was some work to get over the fence and he was over 80 years old at the time, so it was counterintuitive to even think of him going over the fence to walk down along the fence only to have to come back, and I was young and didn’t care about doing something as simple as walking efficiently (on the other side, where experience had told Opa that it was easier).  I just cared about doing it, even if it wasn’t efficient.  In fact, I asked him why he was over there, and he invited me to come over and join him, saying, in that Swabian dialect, “S’isch leichter zom laufa auf dära seite.”  (“It’s easier to walk on this side.”)

I didn’t go over there, being full of spit and vinegar (or the German equivalent) , as it were, and he didn’t push it and let me run like a young maniac through the tall grass on one side of the fence while he walked sedately over the short grass on the other side.

And it got me thinking…

Again.

There was something about that gray hair of theirs.

It symbolized wisdom.

Oma didn’t stick her fingers into the coffee grinder without unplugging it first.

That kept her from losing bits and pieces of her fingers in the grinder.

Opa did walk on the right side, where it was easier.

That was where he didn’t have to waste energy he needed for working in the garden on something as mundane as getting there.

So those were some pretty non-technical examples, but you can easily translate those into all the technical things you do, whether that’s making sure you don’t do the IT equivalent of sticking your fingers in a coffee grinder, or making sure you do the IT equivalent of taking the time to walk down the path on the other side of the fence.

While you’re here – take the opportunities you have and learn from those who have gone before, and who have done stupid things (and learned how to fix them) because you won’t live long enough to make all the stupid mistakes there are to make.

Take the opportunities, some of which you only have here at PASS.  Learn from those who have gone before, and who have done wise things, because you won’t live long enough to learn all the wise things yourself.

Look around you at the PASS Summit, both when you’re between sessions and especially at lunch.

See, most people here with some gray hair (figuratively or literally) didn’t get to be that way in this industry by being stupid.  Pay attention to the things they do. The things they do are often the result of hard won wisdom.

You’ve heard that wisdom (or, good judgment) comes from experience.

Of course, experience often comes from bad judgment.

So when you see a person who looks like they’ve been around awhile here at PASS, pay attention, not only to what they do, but also pay attention to the things they don’t do.

And don’t be afraid to ask them why.

You might learn something.

Oh, and if you’re still in the industry when you find that first little gray hair of your own sprouting, and you see a wide eyed up and coming DBA looking at you as if you’re the fount of all knowledge, shyly asking some advice on something, just to say they heard it from you, remember what it was like when you were thirsty for all that knowledge, and treat that request with  the respect and humility it deserves, because once that happens, it’s definitely time to give back to the community that helped make you who you are.

Take care –

Tom

 
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Posted by on November 7, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Male Logic, Female Logic, how it all applies to Tech


It’s been said that part of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at.  Part of being smart is letting other people know it – but – how do you say this…  There are several ways of solving problems.  I happen to know of several ways on this, and before anyone gets all PC on me on this next bit, hear me out.  There is nothing I admire more than someone who can think their way through a problem to a solution.  I love it if they can explain it – but if they get the answer, awesome.  Now a word used to describe problem solving like this logic.  Many years ago, Bill Cosby did a little schtick on Male Logic and Female Logic – and the way he said it, the male logic was very – well, ‘logical’.  If there was a 10 step process to go through, well, it took a guy 10 steps to go through it.

It went something like this:

Male logic

One… <click>

Two…<click>

Three…<click>

… all the way up to 10.

It was simple, elegant, and – to be honest, some might consider it a little boring…

Female logic

Now female logic, he said, was a lot different – and, as much as people want to think men and women are the same, we’re not – not by a long shot.  He pointed out that giving a female the very same 10 step process, she’d go at it like this:

One…<click>

Fourteen…<click>

10.

How the heck did that happen?

In fact, ladies out there – how do you do that?

See – that 14 is COMPLETELY outside our frame of reference, we don’t think about it – it’s not there.  We can ask you how or why it happens, but explaining to someone the concept of 14 when the numbers only go up to 10 is just baffling to us guys – and the way you relate things together that have you making connections and drawing conclusions that we might not see gives you a stunning edge in some incredible areas.

Call it intuition.  Call it what you will, but and it’s like women have a math coprocessor or something so they can shove a problem over there, let it get solved, and come back in a bit with an answer that even they don’t know how they got.

And often the guy’s on step 3, the gal’s at 10,

In fact, I gave the bulk of this blog post as part of a presentation once and got an astonishing piece of feedback from a woman who had “made it” in the industry.  It came to me sanitized, and I couldn’t tell you who it was if I wanted to, but what you read above was written by a guy, me.  What you’ll read below was written by a gal, is in her words, and she quite literally wished to remain anonymous.

When I ended up in the technology industry, I was usually the first female technical peer any of the guys had worked with, and the first technical female any of the (universally male) managers had tried to manage, and it gets ugly when you’re asked for status and all of the guys are all at steps 2-4 and you’re doing something … completely different.   It’s ugly then, and it’s uglier when, without being able to explain it or teach it … you get at least the same result, faster.  And as you gain confidence, much faster. I still remember being assigned to teach a pretty talented guy who have had all the right experience and skills, how to triage a network sniffer trace.  In my mind it starts with “you scroll quickly through the packets looking for something that’s not quite right” … and I knew the exercise was doomed when I looked at his notebook and he’d neatly written “Step 1.” I knew then I would never be able to explain the concept of not really reading, just relaxing with cup of coffee and scrolling through, knowing that your subconscious will throw up an alert if it sees something that’s “not quite right”. There’s your “skip to #14” bit – I can write or use a parsing app for a network trace, but before I go the effort, I’ll just use my eyes.  Sit back with a cup of coffee and scroll through the trace, looking for patterns that “aren’t quite right”.  I’m not looking closely, I haven’t the slightest notion what I’m looking for, and when something strikes me as “not quite right” it can take me some time to figure out exactly why, but it’s often not the sort of thing I could have ever found using traditional analytics and parsing tools.

I was just thrilled to find this info.  It proved my point, not that men are better or women are better. But that they’re different, and that difference needs to be recognized, acknowledged, even if, as guys, we may not completely understand it.

In fact, please understand – this is not a jab at either gender.  There’s no way I’d say one is right or wrong, they’re just different.   And this whole “14” thing – women seeing/feeling/perceiving relationships intuitively where men might not see them in the same way, I think, honestly, that’s why, while IT is traditionally a male dominated field, that database administration (hint: relational databases…) seems to have a greater percentage of females in it.

So, is there more to the story? Yes, there is.

In a nutshell: just because a guy doesn’t understand the existence of 14 doesn’t mean her 14 isn’t valid.

And just because a gal can’t explain the 14 to a guy doesn’t mean he’s an idiot.

It takes a wise manager to see that the problem-solving skills that employees bring to the technical table, whether 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 or 1-14-10, can actually be quite complimentary.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Sometimes, things go wrong…


When my son was little – about 2, we went out to the Pacific coast of Washington State and stayed in a vacation house for a few days.  He got to run on the beach, play with things he’d never played with, and just really, really had a good time.  It was wonderful to watch.  For those of you who have children, you’ll recognize this.

He was also at this stage in life where he just wanted to do everything by himself – and, for those of you who have children, you’ll recognize some of this, too.

He was a “big boy” now, and he wanted to take care of things in a “big boy” way, so when he had to go take care of some, shall we say, personal business, he wanted to do it, as he said, “all by myself”.

And so, like many parents, I waited for him to call me and tell me he was done, so I could help him finish up the paperwork, so to speak.  And he didn’t call, and didn’t call, and didn’t call.

Finally I called in and asked if he was okay.  I heard a strained, “I’m fine!” – and then silence.  Then I heard a thump, followed by another thump.

Hmmm…

Silence followed by thumps is never good.  It seemed like it was time to go check on him, so I rushed in to see what was the matter – and in half a second I could see what had happened.

He’d been sitting on the toilet – the “grownup” toilet that everyone else used, not the little one he would normally use, and he’d been holding himself up with his hands to keep from falling in.

When he was done, wanting to be a “grownup”, he skootched himself forward until he could get off, but in doing so, left quite a bit of “evidence” on the toilet seat, the front of the toilet, and all the way up his back that he’d done so.  It was clear he’d lost his balance a bit as he was trying to stand and had bumped into the wall, leaning there to hold himself up.

The, um,  evidence was there, too.

He was standing there in the middle of the bathroom, ‘pullups’ down around his feet, surveying the scene when I rushed in and saw the whole thing.  I could clearly see what had happened based on what I just described, but instinctively wanting to confirm it, I blurted out, “Michael!  What happened?!”

His answer was priceless…

“Well, Papa.  Sometimes… things go wrong.”

There it was, plain and simple. “Sometimes, things go wrong.”

Despite the best of intentions, despite the best will in the world, as he said, “Sometimes, things go wrong.”

People make mistakes, or don’t live up to our expectations.

Things go wrong.

Things break, or don’t work like we expect.

Things go wrong.

No matter what we do in life…

Sometimes…

Things go wrong.

So how do you handle it when they do?

And, when you have a simple acknowledgement of the fact up front, how on earth can you be angry?

How do you – at work or at home – handle it when things go wrong?

What, if you were faced with that situation I mentioned, would be the most important thing?

Seems like they’d be like this, in order:

  1. Clean up Michael (as in: clean up the source of the – we’ll call it “evidence”)
  2. Clean up the toilet seat (as in: make sure things are functional again)
  3. Clean up the wall (as in: take care of any – we’ll call it ‘collateral damage’ here)
  4. This one’s incredibly important: Remember:  sometimes, THINGS GO WRONG – equipment breaks or wears out, code for our computers has bugs in it, and humans, both personally and professionally, are not perfect.

Yelling at my son about making a mess he already told me he didn’t mean to make wasn’t going to solve anything.

Managers yelling at employees when things go wrong generally don’t have much of a good result either, nor, often, does yelling in personal situations.

The important thing there was to help clean up the mess, then reassure him and let him know that everything was okay.  Just like you need to reassure and encourage the people involved so they’re not afraid to, shall we say, ‘get back in the saddle’.

And this takes us to…

5.     if you want to keep this kind of thing from happening again:

Personally: I can’t stress the importance of communication – not just speaking, but being willing to listen.  I’ll be the first to admit I’m not perfect in this and have definitely made my share of mistakes.

And realize yours might not be the only right view there.  (Yes, hard as it is to understand this in the moment,  it’s possible for two people to be right about something – and still disagree with each other). Often, one will be thinking short term, one long term.  Or, one may be thinking, we’ll call it ‘rationally’ while the other is thinking ’emotionally’.

Note: One is just as valid as the next.

Professionally: Communication here is just as critical.  You might have one person thinking long term, but unable to articulate it, while another is focused on the immediate problem, and is more vocal.

Both are valid.

Be sure to listen to the quiet people in your organization.  Make sure your people are equipped with the proper tools to do the job they’re expected to do.  Going back to my son’s analogy, it’s good to make sure the saddle’s the right size in the first place.  Instead of your people using all their strength to keep from falling into a place they’d rather not be because the hole – or the responsibility – is too big, make sure they have the skills (read: training)  to be big enough to keep from falling in in the first place.

Does that make sense?

There are many ways to handle situations like this, but for those of you doing management of some kind, understand that the minds of your employees are the most vital things you have.  Most often, it’s in there that the solutions to the problems lie.  Making them quake in fear of you isn’t a productive use of your time, isn’t a productive use of their skills, and doesn’t make them feel comfortable getting, as I said, ‘back in the saddle’.

So.

Respect them for their skills.

Forgive them for their mistakes.

Put the past where it belongs, behind you, and in doing so, you’ll help them learn, and you’ll teach them something far, far more valuable than you realize.

You’ll teach them they can trust you to have their back when they need you.

You’ll teach them they can take risks and fail, and not worry about their jobs.

But in setting them up like that – they’ll also feel comfortable right at the edge of their skill envelope, and, as one leader (the former CIO of the company I work for (yes, this means you, Dale) once said, “it’s when you’re at the edge of your envelope that you make mistakes, but that’s also where you learn the most.  Yes, sometimes you fail, but sometimes you succeed beyond your wildest dreams.”

He was right, and I appreciated that sentiment more than I ever really found words for.

It also boggled my mind that someone, with all the education he had, with all the experience he had, at the peak of his career in a company could come to the same conclusion that my then two year old son came up with on his own.

It shouldn’t be that hard for those of us somewhere between the two to come to similar conclusions, should it?

in fact, it seems like a huge part of success comes from understanding, and accepting, that…

Sometimes…

Things go wrong.

 
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Posted by on December 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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